Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Rocky Relationships

Have you ever had a rocky relationship? Whether it be with a friend or another person. Either way you have come to a point in time where you want out. And that is that. But for some people it is just so hard to let go of what you have known and loved. You know that the longer you wait the harder it will be for you especially but you know that, that person is not worthy of you. I can relate considering that I have been through a couple of these kinds of relationships. It is unbeliveable how cruel and uncaring some people can be even if they were people you considered to be close friends. I learnd a lot about life one way or another through the experiences I have been through. Learning that some people don't think twice about using you and that even friends you trusted can do the most hurtfult things that brew a storm that you knew was coming. Which leads to really heated fights. Although sometimes these can result in the ending of a friendship. This isn't always a bad thing as I have often experiecned but learn that some people change after you show them what was wrong that kept them blind. For example one friend I knew from other things let me be part of their group. Which I thought was wonderful at the time becase I was in a world that was extremly lonely and had very few people to turn to. By the middle of the school year I was offically hanging out with them and loving it until one seemingly harmless action caused the biggest blowout I had ever seen in my short life. I took the side that ended up changing my life and letting me broaden my horizion. This girl helped me through a lot of things that none of my other friends had even thought twice about about caring about. She listened intently but talked as much as I did. She relates and confides in me. I love her to death for pulling down the barrier the other girls at put up at her own expense. I am still friends with two girls from that group and now the girl who started all this changed a lot in my eyes she's polite and just natrual with her friends being nice to anyone that who is nice to her in return. As many people have said we were all young and stupid back then no one mature enough to handle it in a civilized manor. When I think back to events such as these I am kind of embarrassed but except what I earned from it and indulge what I learned from it. I'll never forget how it felt to feel alone to feel as though all your friends that you trusted and loved betrayed you, your trust and your respect. I've felt that way once and not that long ago. I'm the kind of person who always trys to stay in control and don't often tell people when something is wrong because of fear. Fear of who knows what! (well I know of course). but fear of life repeating itself like it has so many times before. I don't like to fight but if that's what I need to do to fix things I'll do it. Usually though my friends know my boundarires and know when and how not to cross them. That's probaly what I admire most about my friends. I'm sorry to say but now I see that soon I don't know when or hiw but a recent history is quite doomed to repeat itself against many people's better judgement.

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