Friday, July 30, 2010

Inspirational Beyond My Wildest Dreams

This is a video of two sisters with CF (cystic fiberiosis) who were told from when they were little that they would never sing and they beat the odds of that by a lot. I'm not sure how many of you are watching america's got talent this season but I know from now on I sure am. How could i resist to watch these two amazing girls presue their dreams and beating the odds set for them. How amazing

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Something Definitly Worth Reading

The poem I'm about to present is my favorite and touchs me all the time. Well I hope you life it!

I had closed the door upon my heart
wouldn't let anyone in,
I had trusted and loved only to be hurt
but, that would never happen again

I had locked the door and tossed the key as far
as far and as hard as I could,
love would never enter there again
my heart was closed for good.

Then you came into my life
and made me change my mind
just when I thought that tiny key
was impossible to fine

That's when you held out your hand
and proved to me I was wrong
Inside your palm was the key to my heart...
You had it all along

I've always loved this poem since the minute I read it. Just so you know I didn't write it. I somehow acquired it during a contest I was in charge of and totally fell in love with it. I keep it by my bed so I can always look at it. So I can always keep it close to my heart. So I know hope never disappears completely. It only gets lost or confused but it never dies. Hold onto you key and keep it close.

Poetry #2

Well I liked poetry so much that I decided I'd continue writing a couple pieces a month but nothing tyed to an exact schduele because i've learned that is just too much work but I'll try my best! So here are this week's poems:

Enjoy life's never ending happiness
Enjoy the blessings we are given
Enjoy our unfortunate sorrows
Enjoy the time we have
Enjoy the people you hold dear
Ejoy the moments and memories we'll never forget
Enjoy what you hate the most
Enjoy the happiness of others
Enjoy the moments while you have them
Enjoy life's simple pleasures

My Reflection

It was as if it was overnight
I woke up and didn't regonize
the face looking back at me.

Choclate brown eyes
Crazy Curly dark brown hair
Were still there
But that was pretty much it
I liked it
But I hated it

I wanted to look in the mirror
And see what I wanted to be
Not what nature had given me

I wanted to see a person
I couldn't be.
A person I would never be.

One day I looked at ny reflection again\
And decided
If this is gonna be who I am then
I guess I like it


I wrote this piece a couple of weeks back so it's not really written in a present tense just wanted to clarify
My first week of summer has been offically awful! And to think I thought this was gonna be the summer of my life. Ya right! Looks like I was wrong again like I've seemed to be quite often lately. I've spent hours sitting in front of the tv or computer ad I'm just totally sick of it. It's so boring. ButI don't feel like calling people to make plans because I've begun to feel as though maybe nobody really enjoys having me around. Maybe they just put up with me. And maybe summer is their chance to get rid of me. I feel like if nobody's gonna make the effort to call me to hang out then why even bother because clearly they just don't care enough aren't willing to waste one stinkin minute with me when they don't have to. Yes maybe I'm over reacting. Who knows? I seem to do that quite a bit. Who cares? I just kinda feel defeated by my own sorrows. My own worries. But who cares I'm just some lonely girl who writes on this stupid blog to make herself feel better. As if it could patch up and heal all my battle wounds. As if.

Monday, July 12, 2010

What I Wish I Knew

I wish I knew that there is a bad side to everyone. I wish I knew that trying hard gets you far. And that good intentions pave the road to hell. But in the time I've had I've learned that good intentions are not enough. You have to mean what you say and say what you mean. When you lie your not helping anyone even if your lying to protect someone. Truthfully your just hurting them. I wish I knew that even a good day can turn bad in an instant. But I know now. And sometimes it makes me look over my shoulder after a good day making the day a little bitter sweet. I wish I knew time is a blessing. A gift that we sometimes don't take a second glance at. We sometimes forget about and take for granted. A lot of people would pay good money for the gift of time. The gift we often find ourselves wasting. The gift we can't live without. What teenagers today don't realize is that being bored is a luxury. A luxury we take for granted. If your bored do something about it clean your room, read a book! No matter how unappealing those things sound they'll help you and can end up being fun. If you think cleaning your room is boring turn on your stereo, flip on your ipod. Put music on it definitly helps and on top of that I reccomend it. That counts for something right? But I think your starting to get my message. That one moment is all you have. Enjoy it and live it. If I could have so many moments back I would. But in life we get no redos. No do overs. So all we can hope for is a "better luck next time" sorta thing. We'll have the knowledge when that next time moment desends upon us. So to all of you reading good luck next time!

I Just Want You to Know.....

How much you hurt me.How much I wish I could change time. How much I wish she never existed. How much I still hate you. How much I miss you. How hard it's become for me. That you helped make me who I am today and you'll always be in my heart no matter what happens between us. And finally I'll never forget you. So many people have touched me and most of these people are as distant to me as japan is to new england. But none the less they touched me just as much as my close friends have. Your social status, feelings towards me, and everything in between don't matter to me. But all the people I've come across on my never ending path of life have all touched my heart and helped mold me. Whether their influence be positive or negative I'm grateful for them. Because without them I wouldn't be who I am today. Who knows if you'd even be reading this. The people who I hate have touched me more than they will ever know. They've shown me the person I don't want to be. The person I'll never let myself be. Sometimes I feel like people think I've got my life figured out. What I want to do. Where I'm going. Who I'm gonna be. But like any teenager I don't. I just play the never ending game of life day by day. Taking on whatever life throws at me and dealing with it. Yes I'm not perfect so I tend to stumble from time to time. Make mistakes. Believe it or not there's so much about my life I regret. Parts of my life I never want to relive. Those are the moments I bury deep in my backyard. The moments I'll find myself digging up someday because their pain will no longer hurt me. I just want you to know that I know that sometimes all you can do is your best and from now on I'm excepting that. I'm excepting that from everybody that's all I can expect. Thank you for being there when I needed you and for making your own mistakes.

Friday, July 2, 2010


Sometimes things don't always go as planned. Sometimes you just can't understand. And sometimes it's too late. Too late to redeem yourself. Too late to change the past. Too late for second chances. Too late to fix what you messed up. Sometimes you have to except faliure and move on because that's all you can do. Faliure is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength because it shows that your willing to risk falling. And anybody who is willing to risk falling gains the most respect in my eyes each and everyday. They prove to me that standing tall and strong as themselves is more important to them than stupid things like what others think, their reputation and so much more than that. I've learned quite recently that some people would much rather judge without knowing and then passing them off not even waiting to see what they're missing. People go through life and they're presented with so many opprotunity's endless amounts. And many we find ourselves passing up. But sometimes we come across one or two that we accept whether it be because we like what we're seeing or because we care enough to dig a little deeper. And other times we find ourselves letting go of the opprotunites we had previously chosen for ourselves. We have so many choices and decisions we often find that much of ourselves is slipping through the cracks in the process. So that when we see something we like better than the first thing we let the first thing slam in our faces loosing that opprotunity. And when we realize we really don't want the second thing it's already too late. We've let the first thing slip through the cracks. In life we make one choice. There are no compromises or maybes. We set out on a path where everything in the present is your only choice and everything in the path is too late to retrive. I wish I could stress to you the importance of one decision. But it would be no use considering we all make that mistake once in our life whether it be now or later. It will happen and we just have to except it. That's the only way out

You Need to Know

that you don't always get your way. That your not always right. And finally that you can't just run away from your problems. Someday they're gonna catch you. You can't just expect your problems to disapper because you ran away. Because unfortunately your problems have legs too. As werid as it sounds and they will chase you trust me. Been there,done that. And I learned that facing your problems gets you a whole lot further than running ever will. Sometimes you don't know everything. You can think that all you want but that will never make it true. Life doesn't always go as planned. Unfortunatley it has a mind of it's own. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. And that fate decides where you'll go in life. And that only God knows the true reason why. Why things happen the way they do. Why people end up the way they do. And why things don't always go our way. I've learned through many hard times that when the wind blows, turning your back to it is a sign of weakness and when a volcano erupts and you stand strong. You die a hero for being brave enough to put yourself out for being fearless ( or an idiot that can be debated). But either way I'd want to die a hero more than die someone with far too many holes in their life that they could never repair.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I Miss You

There's so many people in my life that I miss dayly. They're the people I never stop thinking about. The people I want back in my life. The people that never die in my eyes. The people I want back in my life. The people that I shed the most tears over. I miss my two best friends who understood me completely. They never ceased to amaze me. But unfortunately they're long gone and my window of oppritunity has long closed. But my tears shed over them were not wasted ones. Because on my part it showed my ability to care for another. But what they did to me showed the true cruelty of man. How heartless and souless we can be from time to time or even for a prolonged period of time. Now that is something I do not miss at all. But some how I miss my two best friends that I knew before all of this. The two easy-going girls I used to walk to every arts class with. The two girls that I missed terribly after arts period was over. The same two girls that changed me and ruined me forever. The two girls that I'll never look at the same way again. The girs that I knew are definitly lost forever. Because after the day they made the choice to run away from their problems they took their truly evil forms. I'll never forget the moment that I realized they weren't what I needed anymore not what I wanted. I'll indeed miss the people they were but it's time that I except the people they are now. I mean I'm still learning the concept of forgive and forget. Truthfully I'm better at forgetting than I am at forgiving. Yes I'm a good grudge holder. If I find a reason to hate you, you better run for cover because because it ain't gonna be a pretty picture. Trust me, not pretty. I'm not perfect and I feel like sometimes people think I am. That people think I've got life figured out. That I've got everything figured out and newsflash I don't! I miss th simple life I used to lead the life that didn't have problems beyond my best friend exculding me at recess. Now I'm beginning to see that complicated doesn't always work. Learning is not limited to books and classrooms. Learning is unlimited. We learn where ever we go with whatever we do. Being open to life in general opens your heart and mind to learning. So open your heart and your mind to the unknown parts of life.