Thursday, March 18, 2010
I know many of you may not see it but on the inside I'm falling apart bit by bit. I'm trying so hard but through my experiences over the school year I'm becoming a different person a stronger one a more determined one. A person who as of now doesn't let anything go until it's resolved. I now try to open up as much as possible pointing out things that really don't seem right to me. I'm at the point where I must choose my road again. I'm at that cross road again. When you finally think you've run out of them there comes another one. I know what I want and the person I want to be but that's not enough to get my feet going in the right direction. Because believe it or not it's not who you want to be it's your destined to be. You have to discover a little bit of your destiny each time you reach a cross road and then you can continue on the path you choose. I finally after what felt like forever got going on my next path. It's beautiful and magnificent but just like any other great place it does experience it's storms. You can't have everything but sadly I learned that the hard way. I was always one step above where I was supposed to be and that hurt me when someone abruntly knocked me down. I fell and got bruised a little bit but like any wounds they healed and I kept on climbing until I was there again but this time I had someone who stood by me making me the stronger person and instead falling again I stood my ground. My ambitions had been lowered but my dreams and my hope hadn't been crushed. My dreams are my life they guide me in everyday decisions. I tend to think big so for me the sky's the limit. I don't like being held back I like to be let loose and set free. But in my enviornment that's hard when I can just see those things ahead but can't reach them. There so close but yet so far away. I've wished a million things like escaping my world to go to the other one where I sometimes feel that I belong. I believe in everything magical I have no limits. I just wish we could all live in peace and learn from the animals around us they are always so nice and kind they share there world with us not always willingly but know their limits. They set an example for all of human kind because they could teach us some many life lessons but unfortunately most of use don't stop long enough to learn. My life has been put back to together again to extent. I feel as though some of my beliefs are shattered over and over again each day. It hurts a lot because I see the truth of everything I hope with all my heart and stay true to my idea of my faith even when so many of my generation don't. I have wild thoughts and a complicated way of thinking that even I don't get sometimes.