Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I have always thought of friends as people you would go to great lengths to protecvt but over the course of this school year I have learned a lot about friendship. I've learned what it means to be a good friend, and which battles are worth fighting and which aren't. Although I have also learned how hard it is to give up friends you despartely care about. One example I must share is one of my interenal battles. I have one friend that I care about and would do anyhting for but suddenly I have to be something I'm not for her just so I can live up to her standards. She's defiently not the person I know. Although now and then I seee her again she never stays long enough so that I can hold on and never let go. I can NEVER get a word in when she's around. I would love to stop being friends with her and see how she takes it but I know that would cause way more of a problem within our group than there already is. Everybody except one person notices how distant we've been lately but only I see what really keeps us part I won't tell anyone what that is because I'm afraid that they'll be mad at me even though therese more to it then just what I would say in one word. What hurts me most is that I suffer everyday and just put on a happy face and act as though I'm not screaming on the inside. Friends are also people you trust with your life and out of all my friends I only trust 3 of them 3! All I want at this point is for someone to LISTEN to me, to pull awat the mask that holds me back and show me what I'm not seeing.