Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My Prize Finally

For the majority of the winter I’ve been miserable beyond belief. Miserable enough to think about dying. Miserable enought to consider many insane things. All because no one in my world had any respect for anybody else. And therefore I have a couple of people i want to thank for my winter downfall, (No name 1 and 2) you’ve won the prize for making me miserable. Congrats. No name 1 out of all the people in my life that have disappointed me the most you’re now on top. You have it in you to be one of the biggest bitches I’ve ever met. Trust me I’ve seen it. You beat me down until I felt so badly about myself I spent a whole morning on the bus debating with myself whether or not suicide was the best option. That’s not something I would want to be remembered for. But you did it anyway you sat in my car and listened to my stories or rather didn’t listen as retold so maybe that time you’d hear it. But if I remember correctly you never did. I don’t know about you but that makes me feel worse than shit because not only does it show me that you don’t respect me in anyway but it also shows me that you don’t care about anybody except yourself. Because if you did you’d work up the courage to listen whether or not you wanted to. That’s what I do for you all the time I might not be in the mood but I listen anyway because I do care and I know how it makes a person feel, I know what it bring a person to. And No name 2 I have no real indepth long story about what you did, but I wish when I came head to head with you I’d been in a better place in my life because I wouldn’t have let you walk all over me like I did. And all I have to say to you is You don’t know at all so just stop pretending like you do. And stop pretending like you know everything and I don’t matter. Because last time I checked you don’t know shit about me and you don’t know what I know, and what I’m capable of. But either way you didn’t have any right to do what you did and you still don’t. And I’m so glad basketball season is over because now all I really have to do is make it through the banquet which shouldn’t be hard since I made it through the whole season and look I’m still alive. But this weekend I got to go to the movies with some friends who actually wanted to spend time with me, and I came back feeling better than I had in weeks maybe months. I can’t thank you danielle and catie enough for that. It was a lot of fun that I hadn’t had in a long, long while. I for now am restored to truly happy bubbly Anissa. And for now nobody’s gonna bring me down thanks to my friends who got through this without even knowing it. I love you guys <3

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