Again & Again

Sometimes I lay awake at night and think why me? Why is it always me? Why am I always stuck witht the girls that don't know how to be happy? Why I am I never rewarded for the good things I do? And finally why do I always seem to realize things a little too late? All these questions are stupid and mindless. They can never be answered, but they can be pondered. Thought about until your mind explodes. Truthfully I do this all the time -ponder the questions that cannot be answered- and it is kind of a waste of time. Because although thoughts are important they won't get you very far. They'll drive you insane for sure. (If they haven't already). Sometimes I feel as though my life is a song. No matter how many times you listen to it, it's always the same. Which relates to everyone really; inside we'll always be the same person no matter what. But what we exibit on the outside makes others believe we've changed. For a long time, my life was an act. I didn't know how much was truth and how much was lie. And indeed I wasn't proud of it. I felt like I was lying to myself more than anybody. At that point I felt as though I owed it to myself to be who I was. And eventually I was done pretending. And became the person that I deserved to be. It was a hard road and it still is. It has tons of bumps because I've faced the fact that the road of life isn't perfect; much liken our world. Trust me it does get better but only in time. And when life repeats for you know that, that isn't nessairly a bad sign, it just means that your life may need some improvement. And that isn't a bad thing it just means that you have a chance to make yourself even better than you already are. Embrace life it isn't a punishment. It's a never ending journey .